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  A little shiver darted across her skin as the cool air hit her body, but it was quickly replaced by the warmth of his arms as he enfolded her in his embrace again. She slipped her feet out of her shoes and kicked them aside. There wasn’t any use pretending that nothing was going to happen or trying to convince herself she could put a stop to what was taking place. She wanted Jared to make love to her more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. Even her fingertips tingled at the thought of running her hands over his bare skin.

  She loosened his tie and pulled it from around his neck, then dropped it to the floor. Her fingers worked at the buttons on his shirt until they were unfastened. She slid her hands inside his shirt, reveling in the hard planes of his chest. She felt his breathing, the ragged intake matching her own. His mouth was on hers again—hot, demanding and tantalizingly sensual. But he didn’t demand any more than she was willing to give. He interrupted the kiss just long enough to yank his shirt off and toss it on the floor on top of his tie.

  He kicked off his shoes and took a couple of steps backward, taking her with him as he fell onto the sofa. He leaned into the corner, holding her body on top of his as he caressed her bare shoulders and back. His tongue meshed with hers, exploring the dark recesses of her mouth. Their legs tangled together. The feel of her bare breasts pressing against his chest sent a heated surge through his body. His hardened arousal strained against the front of his trousers.

  His words were barely audible. “You are exquisite.” He twisted so his body covered hers, one of his legs between hers and the other hanging over the edge of the sofa. He cupped the firmness of her breast, her tautly puckered nipple pressing into his hand. He captured her other nipple in his mouth. A soft moan of pleasure filled the air. He didn’t know if it had come from him or from her. Perhaps it was from both of them.

  Her hands were at his trousers, trying to unfasten his belt and unzip his pants. He reached for the waist of her slacks. Their hands collided as each frantically tugged at the other’s remaining pieces of clothing. Jared released her nipple from his mouth and raised up on his elbows. He gasped for air and finally managed a few breathless words.

  “Let’s go to my bedroom.”

  He rolled off the sofa, his chest heaving with his labored breathing. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. Then he impulsively scooped her in his arms, carried her up the stairs to his bedroom and laid her on the bed. He gulped in several deep breaths as he shucked off his trousers, socks and briefs.

  Kneeling on the bed, he unfastened her slacks as quickly as his trembling hands could function. She arched her hips upward, allowing him to pull them off along with her panty hose and lacy bikini panties. He stared at the beautiful woman who had dominated all his thoughts from the time he met her. Her slightly parted kiss-swollen lips and mussed hair gave her an earthy look of wild abandon and exotic sensuality. Her blue eyes sparkled with the same passion that coursed hotly through his veins. She raised her hand toward him, beckoning him to join her.

  The last vestige of control he had been able to muster flew out the window. He snuggled his body next to hers. He teased her nipple with the tip of his tongue before drawing it in and gently suckling. Her mouth…her skin…every touch and taste inflamed his senses. He ran his hand up the smooth skin of her inner thigh until he reached the moist heat of her femininity.

  A gasp followed by a sensual moan of pleasure escaped Kim’s throat when he inserted his finger between her feminine folds. She splayed her fingers across his hard chest, then trailed her fingertips down his body. She stroked his hardened arousal, the sensual delight sending a wave of excitement through her body that rapidly combined with the strong sensations produced by his touch.

  She wrapped her leg around his, threw her head back into the pillow, closed her eyes and allowed the delicious waves of euphoria to surge through her body. A moment later his mouth came down hard on hers. She circled her arms around his neck. His hot kiss infused her with an intense sexuality that emanated from his every breath and gesture. No one had ever set her passions on fire the way he did.

  Jared reached for the drawer of the nightstand and withdrew the condom packet, his movements almost frantic in his rush to rip open the package. A few moments later he nestled his body between her legs and slowly thrust his manhood inside her. He held her tightly as a hard jolt of something as emotional as it was physical claimed every corner of his consciousness. He fought to keep the emotional side of what was happening under control. He set a smooth pace, each of his strokes being met by a thrust of Kim’s hips. His mouth captured hers again, as much in an attempt to prevent him from saying more than he wanted to as it was a need for the intimate contact and a desire to experience her taste.

  Kim’s emotions vied for control with the physical rush surging through her body. Everything about Jared excited her more than she believed it could…every place he touched her, every word he said. The pace of their lovemaking accelerated as layer upon layer of intense rapture built toward the ultimate ecstasy. She tightened her arms around him. His kiss demanded more, and she gave everything she could until the convulsions totally claimed her body in a climactic euphoria more intense than anything she had ever experienced. She clung to him as the waves surged through her again and again. It had been everything she knew it would be, everything she had anticipated…and more.

  Jared wavered between wanting to prolong the delicious sensations and giving in to the rapture that rushed to claim him. He gave one final deep thrust. His body shuddered, followed by hard spasms of release. There was so much he wanted to say, and every bit of it frightened him more than anything in his life ever had.

  Jared kissed Kim’s damp cheek, brushed his lips tenderly against hers and continued to hold her. He didn’t want to let go of her warmth or break the physical contact that continued to radiate to him.

  He had been with women who immediately wanted praise for their performance, to be told that they were beautiful and desirable and that it was the best lovemaking he had ever experienced. Others wanted him to make a commitment to a relationship, even though he had made no such promises or even hinted at the possibility. Others felt a need to tell him about their lovers in an attempt to impress him with their vast experience. He hadn’t been interested in any of it.

  But Kim was different. She didn’t do any of those things. She seemed strangely quiet, as if there were many thoughts going through her mind, secrets she chose not to share. It left him very uneasy and at a loss about what to do or say to her. A wave of apprehension jittered through his body and flowed into the one area where he had no experience—a previously unknown insecurity.

  Making love had never before had an emotional impact on him the way it had with Kim. Every fear he had ever harbored about commitment and relationships, every negative thought he had ever held about his father’s many failed marriages, came rushing at him. Foreign feelings coursed through him, feelings that frightened him…feelings that told him to run before it was too late.

  Feelings that told him it was already too late.

  So he continued to hold her tightly while he tried to convince himself that nothing had changed, that everything was okay even though he knew things would never be the same again.

  Kim remained folded in his embrace, the glow of total contentment resonating through every fiber of her being. Before they had made love she suspected she might be falling in love with him. Now she knew it for sure. What she didn’t know was how she felt about the revelation. He was the type of man whose lifestyle and existence shouted for all to hear that he would never allow himself to be tied down to one woman in a committed relationship.

  Could she be happy as his lover knowing she could never be anything more? One thing was definite—whatever relationship existed between them before they made love, even if it was only a contracted work arrangement, had been irrevocably changed.

  What just moments ago had been total elation was suddenly dampened by so many doubts and fears. H
ad she done something she would live to regret? She hoped not, but she feared so.

  Jared kissed her cheek, drawing her out of her thoughts. Then he nuzzled her neck as he caressed her breast. A renewed tingle of excitement quickly made its way through her body. He slowly tickled his fingers up her inner thigh, and she was once again poised on the brink of a rapturous experience.

  It was another hour before they basked in the afterglow of their intense lovemaking for a second time. If Jared had been uncertain earlier about where the impact of their lovemaking would lead, now he was in a state of total confusion. He wrapped his arms tightly around Kim’s body and held her to him. Maybe things would be clearer in the morning. He closed his eyes and tried to put the negative thoughts out of his mind while gently stroking her skin.

  Kim delighted in the little tremors of excitement that followed in the wake of his fingertips. She had never felt so at one with another human being as she did at that moment. How was it possible for Jared to become so important to her, so much the emotional center of her existence in only a month? She snuggled into the comfort and security of his arms. Her thoughts became fewer and less clear as sleep claimed her.

  Six

  Jared sat on the edge of the bed watching Kim as she slept. He had slipped out of bed half an hour earlier to make coffee and bring in the morning newspaper. Conflicting thoughts and feelings ran rampant through him. On the one hand he wanted to be with her, to share everything with her. Even the possibility of building a life together had entered his thoughts. She was unlike any woman he had ever known. Just looking at her sent a shiver through his body, telling him of the magnitude of the impact their lovemaking had on him. It had never seemed so important on every level of existence as it had with Kim.

  But on the other hand, he felt as if the walls were closing in on him, trapping him in something he wasn’t ready for. He wanted to stay as much as he instinctively wanted to run. Nothing had ever put him into a state of inner turmoil the way this had. And he had been totally unprepared for it.

  His pulse raced a little faster and his heartbeat pounded a little harder as he took in the beautiful woman sleeping in his bed. He reached out and lightly stroked her hair, brushing errant strands from the side of her face. Her long, dark lashes rested against her upper cheek. He watched the gentle rise and fall of her breasts corresponding with her slow, even breathing. His gaze traced the enticing curve of her hip and her long, shapely legs. She stirred, then stretched her arms and legs.

  Kim slowly opened her eyes. The first sight that greeted her was Jared’s face. She smiled. “Good morning.” A soft warmth spread through her body as she recalled the intensity of their lovemaking and the heat of the passion between them. “Have you been awake for long?”

  “No…just long enough to make some coffee.” He wanted to touch her, to feel the silky smoothness of her skin and experience the sensual oneness of the physical contact with her. He started to reach out, but withdrew his hand. He didn’t know why. A sudden jolt of panic gripped him and refused to let go. He stood and walked to the other side of the bed.

  “I brought your clothes up from the living room.”

  A hint of a frown creased her forehead. “Thank you.” A million warning bells went off inside her head. There was something different about him, but she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was. Was his attitude a little cooler? His manner a bit more formal? He hadn’t kissed her, not even the gesture of touching her cheek as he had numerous times over the past month. A little chill darted across her skin. She pulled the sheet up to cover her even though she knew the chill was emotional rather than physical.

  She had wondered the night before if she would regret her decision to make love with Jared. Had that decision already come back to haunt her, or were her fears preying on her insecurities? She reached for the clothes he had placed on the foot of the bed. Was it his way of telling her he wanted her to leave even though it had been previously agreed that they would work on the charity project that day? Had he been struck with regrets?

  A shudder of apprehension attached itself to her fears. She was no good at the morning after game of vying for the upper hand to control what was happening. She would relieve him of the decision by making the first move and taking the matter out of his hands.

  “I’m going to go home so I can take a shower and put on some clean clothes. Then I’ll be back and we can start on the charity fund-raiser as we discussed…if that’s okay with you.”

  “Sure, that’s fine. We can have breakfast when you get back.” He heard the coolness in his voice and the distance it projected but didn’t seem able to prevent it. He turned away, guilt surging through his consciousness over his inability to make eye contact with her. He wanted to take her in his arms, to hold her—to tell her that he thought he might be falling in love with her. He had allowed the reality to crystallize in his mind, but it didn’t resolve anything. All it did was frighten him more than he already was, if that was possible.

  Kim pulled on her clothes, then ran her fingers through her mussed hair. The sick churning in the pit of her stomach said something was very wrong. Was it her imagination? Her doubts and fears? Or was it real? Her emotions were running wild, and she needed to get them under control. What minutes earlier had been a time of blissful contentment had turned into confusion and doubts. She hurried toward the front door.

  “I should be back in a couple of hours.” She didn’t look back to see the expression on his face, nor did she wait to hear what he might say. It was all she could do to maintain a steady walking pace rather than making a dash for her car. The churning in her stomach tried to push the sick feeling up her throat. In an almost involuntary action, she glanced at the house as she opened her car door. Jared stood on the porch, an odd expression on his face that she couldn’t read.

  He watched as Kim slid in behind the steering wheel and drove down the long driveway. It seemed like she had been in a great hurry to leave his house, as if she couldn’t get away fast enough. Had it been his fault? Had he subconsciously pushed her away? More than anything, he had wanted to take her in his arms and make love to her all over again. But instead he had handed her clothes to her and made no effort to allay any concerns she might have had. He did nothing to reassure her that she was far more to him than just another bedmate, that he cared about her very much—perhaps too much. He had behaved like a grade A jerk. It was the type of behavior Terry would have exhibited.

  He reluctantly went inside the house and closed the door. Suddenly he felt very much alone. And more than that, for the first time in his life, he truly knew what it was like to be lonely.

  Lurch padded across the floor, let out a loud bark, then headed toward the kitchen. Jared followed the dog to the utility room where he filled the food dish and replenished the water bowl. Jared watched the dog for a couple of minutes as it attacked the food. “Lurch…I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I’ll know for sure in a couple of hours when Kim returns.” A wave of panic swept over him. “If she returns.”

  He tried to busy himself in his office. He pulled together the information he had about the charity and what his clients said they wanted. He tried to keep his attention focused, but his mind kept wandering. Every few minutes his thoughts turned to Kim, to the way she felt in his arms, to the total and complete joy that assailed his senses the moment they joined together as one when they made love. He knew in the very depths of his soul that no one would ever touch his heart the way she had.

  But none of that stopped the dark cloud from settling over him. The uncomfortable feeling that had made itself known when he first met her, the sensation that his life was about to take a dramatic detour from the course he had intended, had been resurrected and expanded to new dimensions. He had to grapple with the fear that churned inside him, the confusion he couldn’t shake off and the anxiety that touched every corner of his conscious reality. Regardless of how much he wanted to be with Kim, the prospect of making a com
mitment to her was too terrifying for him. Everything he had experienced in life and witnessed growing up in his father’s house told him that a commitment in a personal relationship could never work.

  Stevens men could never commit for life. How could Jared think he could? He was his father’s son.

  Jared glanced at the clock again. Only five minutes had passed since he last checked the time. Kim had left his house almost four hours earlier, saying she would be back in a couple of hours. Had she changed her mind and decided not to return until her agreed upon regular work schedule on Monday? Had he driven a wedge between them to replace the fence they had torn down over the past month—the fence that had separated the Stevenses and Donaldsons for three generations of a family feud?

  He nervously paced up and down the office, then went to his bedroom. He stared at the rumpled bed where they had made love so passionately that every detail had become burned into his memory forever—every touch, every taste, every sensation. Would that memory have to last him a lifetime? He had never been so confused and uncertain about anything in his entire life. Perhaps he could have convinced himself that she was only a passing desire if they had not made love. But now it was too late for that.

  Lurch’s barking brought him out of his thoughts. Then he heard her speaking to the dog. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders but was still poised to drop on him again. She had returned, but that didn’t tell him what the future held. He rushed to the office to greet her.

  “You’ve been gone for nearly four hours. I was beginning to think you weren’t coming back.” He had meant the statement as one of concern, but realized when he saw her eyes narrow and her jaw tighten that it had come out as an accusation. Suddenly he couldn’t do anything right where she was concerned. Once again he found himself treading on unknown territory, and the lack of any seeming control fed into the insecurity he had never experienced before meeting Kim Donaldson.